Resolving the Child Support System in America

Dead beat dad or BEAT ON DAD? I believe child support has gotten out of hand. I’ve been on both ends of giving and receiving support and I have come to this conclusion; it’s insane!

I believe that if a woman is raising her children on her own and isn’t remarried, nor has any financial help from a significant other, then the standard percentage should be enforced to help her as much as possible. However, if she is remarried, and unless she’s hidden these children in a closet, it would be assumed that her new husband was aware of this before they were married, and he should naturally be taking on the whole package so to speak. I believe that his income should be taken into consideration; not making child support null and void for the natural father, but merely to give him a break.

Let’s consider this if you dont like what I just said: Is it really okay for the mother to find a new life for herself and the children while the father continues to work and pay her 50% of his wages until the children are 18? Should he never remarry because he’s not able to provide for anyone aside from his EX, the children and himself while her new husband brings home the bacon as well?

Let’s see if this sounds fair to you: Half of my husband’s income goes to his ex-wife for their three children. She’s remarried to a business owner and has been for years. It’s nothing new. They own their house, property up north, their nice, shiny, red truck, a descent family car, a fifth wheel, brand spanking new snowmobiles and acreage next door to their home. They go on vacations, host huge parties at all holidays, pay for private schooling for the youngest child, and give such elaborate gifts at birthdays and holidays that you won’t catch any one of these children at their father’s house for these events because he lacks the funds to compete. Meanwhile, the mother laughs and jokes to mutual friends about how the child support, she unfailingly receives month after month, is nothing more than cigarette money to her; while my husband and I struggle to buy diapers for our baby.

We can’t afford propane to keep our house warm, so we’ve resorted to using kerosene instead of the furnace, and we drive a broken down, rusty old van. It gets worse, but I won’t go into it because I’m not looking for sympathy. I would just like to see some of this change so the men can have a chance at a new life too. Maybe then it wouldn’t look so grim to them HELPING out with continued support payments if it doesn’t end their lives and future happiness. Maybe then we would see a lot more guys putting in the effort if they didn’t feel their future looked so hopeless with “The more I make – the more she takes so why bother.” type attitude. One might think, well he should want his children to have more, but when is enough – ENOUGH! Is it really the children who need more or is it just a convenient, revengeful way of obtaining excess income in some cases?

Another reason I believe child support is becoming insane: At one point during my marriage I was receiving child support for my older children from a previous relationship, while my husband was also paying child support. It just didn’t seem right to receive child support and for it to just go right back out for yet another family. So who really is paying the child support at this point? Was my husband paying child support and my EX reimbursing it? Where will it end? How far down the line is this going? What if everyone was paying support to another family? This is why I believe that once the mother is remarried, the household income should be investigated and compared. It should be about HOUSEHOLD INCOME vs HOUSEHOLD INCOME! Don’t take from one family to give to those who have more. Just let it be fair for both parties; not an entire second, or in some cases an entire third income for one household at the expense of another.