One of mankind’s weakness is avarice. No matter how well off financially a person may be they will always want more than what they have already. If no work is involved and what is being handed out is free then that is well and truly a bonus.
Supposing you had a stall at some county fair where you were selling lead pencils worth say twenty cents each for five cents . You got to the point where you made your profit and were left with one hundred to dispose of before the fair ended. Because you wanted to rid yourself of the pencils you decide to hand them out free one hour before the fair ends. You had better prepare yourself for a stampede. Free is a magic word. Whether or not a person needs a pencil they will rush to your stall ,push and shove people aside just to get a free pencil. Some may even try to change appearance and line up for more than just one pencil. Avarice ,plain and simple is everywhere.
People can be the best of friends until a dispute over money destroys the relationship. Siblings despite the outward appearance of co operation are no different to anyone else. Avarice is part of their make up whether is it quite apparent or seemingly smoldering under the surface. Rich or poor siblings are bound to demand a loin’s share of any estate. There is little work involved and what is being offered for distribution is free. It would be rare to find situations in the distribution of an estate where argument and hot debate over who gets what did not occur. Far from argument arising over large items siblings will often argue over small items such as a two dollar vase if it has some sentimental value to them.
Parents do have a responsibility to make a will. In fact every person on attaining legal age should prepare a will regardless of how distasteful it may be to them to consider that death may come at any time. A will should be as simple to execute as possible bearing in mind the executors may not have much legal experience.
Parents may decide to favor one child over another and start to add clauses and codicils to their will that may only serve to complicate and delay probate. Siblings are entitled to challenge the distribution of the estate if they feel they are being treated unfairly and can offer some evidence in support of their claim. A large portion of the estate can be eroded on legal fees if it requires a court to settle matters . It is best to seek legal opinion when drawing up a will where you want to unevenly distribute your estate amongst your children . The lawyer can then advise you of the ramifications of the clauses you insert in relation to sibling rivalry.
All of the foregoing assumes that the parents decease at the same time and as such the will is the most effective way of diving the estate. The will should decide the division of the major assets and this is usually equal shares. Assets not covered specifically in the will are usually divided at the discretion of the executor/s. In this event sibling rivalry can rear its ugly head. Unfortunately there is nothing parents can do to prevent this occurring unless they they add clauses to the will and that event has already been discussed. If parents have raised their children with equal love and attention then perhaps the distribution of the assets not specifically mentioned in the will would not be a problem. However avarice is always a companion to anyone where money is concerned.
In a lot of cases one parent predeceases the other. There is then two opportunities for the distribution of assets not specifically covered in the will. The first is the disposal of assets no longer of use to the surviving parent. Your mother for instance would not need your father’s clothing , power tools , cd and dvd collection etc if your father died and she would be in the position of distributing those assets as she saw fit. Similarly if your mother died then assets belonging to your mother could be distributed as your father saw fit. The second instance would be when the surviving parent decides to move into a nursing home. In this case major assets such as the house large furniture etc may well be converted into cash . Similarly assets not specifically mentioned in the will are often dramatically reduced to meet the limited space of a nursing home unit. If this occurs then the siblings’ inheritance is mostly cash divided in accordance with the wishes of the surviving parent and very little assets are the subject of squabbles amongst the siblings.
My wife and I have four children all at various stages of personal wealth but certainly not on a level playing field . I discussed with my wife the distribution of the will should both of us decease simultaneously and decided on division of equal shares of the estate to keep matters simple. Each child received equal love and attention during their upbringing and still do however we are aware of the fact that in each of them avarice is a possibility. Since there is no way of itemizing every asset we own and specifying its allocation without complicating the will to the point of rendering it practically impossible in its administration we decided to appoint two of the four children executors and hope that the division of assets not specified in the will be settled amicably amongst themselves. I am sure it will be .
Although our children are loathe to consider our mortality I do at times ask them what they would like to have as their inheritance. It is like extracting a gram of gold from a tonne of ore to elicit an answer . I suppose their reticence can be construed as a sign that they expect us to live forever and so need our assets forever. It could also mean that they will not argue over the assets if my wife and I decease simultaneously or separately.
My eldest son does own a fry pan which I feel should have been discarded long ago . The fact that he declined an offer from me to buy him one similar to the exorbitant price my wife paid for a fry pan with the added bonus of a life time guarantee ,augers well that squabbles in the distribution of our assets will not be a matter of contention. My son’s very survival has depended on his fry pan and it likely to be his lifelong companion so that replacement is not something he wants.
In the event that I let my wife behind the wheel of our car (she doesn’t have a license after all these years) and she decides to free fall the car over the side of a cliff during driving instruction with both of us in it I would have to say that we would decease . Mercifully I would have a fatal heart attack in the few seconds before impact. First thing I would want to see assuming we could go back and watch or house from above is if my eldest son was arguing over my wife’s fry pan. I sure he wouldn’t however maybe I should have put that in the will despite my wife and the solicitor fighting each other to be the first to say “You can’t be serious?” knowing full well I don’t play tennis.