Yes, because if parents aren’t responsible for their child’s behavior, than who is? Too many parents today, are more than willing to abdicate all of their responsibility for raising their children. They look to the school system, day care, after school activities, and even churches to raise their children. While each of these organizations can help raise a child, ultimately it is the parent’s responsibility.
Is it logical to expect a 10 or 11 year old child to pay for damages caused by their acts of vandalism? Or are we expecting the homeowner or businessowner to pay for the damage? People are constantly complaining of the high cost of their insurance premiums; yet don’t seem to understand that everytime they turn in a claim it contributes to rising prices. One of the ways that this trend could be slowed down is by having parents pay for damages caused by their child. Is this fair? Maybe or maybe not; but who else should bare that responsibility? Certainly not the victim! If the parents had to pay for the damage; chances are very good that they are going to more closely monitor their child’s activities.
Science has made it possible for a woman to never have a child if that is her decision. Perhaps, the only time this isn’t true is for young teenage girls who may not have access to any type of birth control. So, if you make the decision to have a child, than you have made a decision to raise that child. Part of raising a child is teaching them to respect the rights and property of others. That means teaching them that if they do something wrong, or worse, illegal there are consequences. And that sometimes the consequences may be painful.
I have read reports that say a child learns his or her form of behavior by the time he or she is 7 years old. After that point it becomes increasingly difficult to change their behavior. In those first 7 years, parents are, in most cases, spending more time with the child than anyone else. This is true even if a child starts daycare within just a few weeks of birth. Even if one or both parents are in school or employed at more than one job. Because of the high cost of childcare, typically parents try to offset their schedules so that at least one parent is available to watch the child(ren).
As parents, we have an obligation to teach our children the concept of being accountable. And perhaps this is part of the problem we’re having with children today. No one has taught them that they will be held accountable for the things they do or say. And yes, I understand that more and more children are being raised in one parent homes. This makes the process of raising children harder; but does not make the parent any less responsible for their child.
Part of the problem is the lack of coordination between schools and the home. Because it has become increasingly difficult for schools to punish children, children frequently get mixed messages. For example, a parent insists that schoolwork be turned in on time and neatly done. Yet, the teacher either accepts the work day(s) late or in a very sloppy condition and grades the work. The teacher is then completely contradicting what the parent has tried to teach the child. And the reverse is also true, when a teacher is trying to hold a child accountable and the parent shrugs the problem off. When given a choice, the child, like everyone else is going to take the easiest of the two choices and end up missing the point completely. So there is a necessity for parents and school systems to work closely together for the common goal. And that goal should be the raising of a child who is responsible, respectful, and willing to be held accountable for his actions.
Children want rules that are consistent. They don’t want to be having to guess whether this or that action is going to be ignored or bring punishment. They want and need some stability. Punishing an action today and ignoring it tomorrow, causes them confusion and sends the wrong message. Not being interested in your child’s activities and providing them encouragement in their efforts creates even more confusion. Particularly if the only way they can get your attention is to misbehave. Children want and crave attention and if misbehaving is the only way they can get it, than that is what they will do! And eventually the problem will escalate.
Parents do not help when they hire lawyers to oveturn speeding tickets, or provide alcohol for underage parties. Nor do coaches help when individuals repeatedly miss practices yet start the game. How is a child expected to learn respect for the law or their leaders in these circumstances? Yet, we all see these type of examples everyday. All too often our children are receiving the wrong message from those who are suppose to be guiding them. And as a society we wonder what is wrong with the younger generation.
If we have neglected our children to the point where they are getting in trouble for vandalism, petty theft, or any other type of criminal activity when they are 8, 9, or 10 years old: we are as much at fault as they are. Maybe even more at fault. We’ve either inadvertently taught them that behavior or let them get away with it. Yes, it is common knowledge that older children or teens will often encourage a young child to do something wrong. Often because they feel the punishment won’t be as severe for a young child as it is for them. Still if we have done our job and continue to do our job as parents, we are helping our child learn how to avoid those situations. If not, then we need to be held responsible for their actions.