When I got divorced, 20+ years ago, things were different. The laws have changed and also the way the courts and people deal with support issues. It’s no wonder there are deadbeat dads.
One of the things I fought for in my divorce settlement was the child support. I had specific ultimatums written into my papers about the money. I hate to say this but women and the laws are too soft.
If you are divorcing the guy in the first place than you better make sure you’ve got your financial house in order. Having a roof over mine and my sons head was a high priority as was his medical coverage and weekly child support payments.
I took a lot of time, did research, interviewed other divorced people, read the state laws on divorce and support and spent time consulting with my lawyer. If my ex had not owned up you’re damn straight he’d be in jail.
To allow these men to get away with this is ludicrous. What are women thinking? Not paying your child support is financial abuse and against the law. Throw them in the slammer.
If he even casually mentions not paying then he’s thought about it. Men are smarter than you think and when the marriage goes sour they do too. It is a big blow to a mans ego to loose a women, no matter what the reason.
Get your lawyer to draw up papers without cutting him any slack. You have to be aggressive.
Jail time is better than hiring a hit man. You have to take preventative steps if you even think he might skip out.
I had my support payments payroll deducted and handled by Friend of the Court. I also had a clause added that if he got behind he’d loose his visiting rights and the tax deduction. I had everything in writing and consequences if my ex did not follow through.
What’s so funny about it now is that he’s overly generous with the grandkids. My son resents this a little but understands. He lived it. I never once asked for an increased in my child support either.
My ex even lied in court about his income, but I had a bottom line and the judge gave us that amount so I let it go. We managed and I kept the house with no pay off agreement.
Although you’re divorced, you know the man well, so stay on your toes. Set him up if you have too. Have the police there when he comes to visit the kids. Don’t be afraid your children know the truth.
The guy might as well be slapping you and your children around. Abuse is abuse whether it’s physical or financial. A man who doesn’t pay for raising his child deserves to be in jail or maybe have his unit removed.