Recent studies have suggested that while financial differences within a relationship rarely lead to divorce, they can however act as an early precursor to the other things that often lead to the dissolution of a once strong marriage.
It’s probably safe to assume that while walking down the aisle, the last thing you want to think about is whether or not you and your partner are financially compatible. Nonetheless, a couples ability to talk about their financial status, hopes, and desires can go a long way in not only strengthening but maintaining a long happy marriage.
To get ahead of the possible reoccurring problem, couples entering marriage must be completely honest about their finances. From a distance it seems that talking to your future spouse should be easy right? After all, this is the person you’re going to be spending the rest of your life with. Unfortunately, it’s just not that simple. Situations differ between couples, but there are times when it’s hard enough to summon the courage to look at a bank statement individually let alone discuss it with someone. That said, that hair pulling, eye gouging discussion will pay-off in the long run when your relationship is still going strong in twenty-years.
You only kinda complete me?
Remember that infamous line from Jerry Maguire- “you complete me”- as beautiful and touching of a moment as it was, what the movie failed to mention was that, you complete emotionally also means you complete me financially. Once you’re legally married, his or her debt becomes your debt. That $35,000 remaining on a student loan balance? Well, that’s your balance now too (and you don’t even get a share of the degree!). But don’t worry too much. Again, it’s not necessarily about the amount of financial baggage your partner brings to the relationship as much as it is about how honest they were about it. Did they give you a chance to make a decision? Or, did they blindside you after you signed those marriage papers? The latter will probably tell you more about the future of your relationship than any other factor.
Who wants to be a millionaire!
They say that “a million dollars ain’t what it used to be”. First, they couldn’t be any more right. Whereas reality game shows use to max out at a million dollars, now it seems that a million dollars is the starting point. That said, the most important question to ask a future spouse is “What would you do with a million dollars?” And yes, I’m serious.
If you were stuck on an island, what three music albums would you take? Sure, it’s a silly question, but it undoubtedly provides an insight into what someone is all about. The same can be learned by asking your partner what they would do with a million dollars. Maybe they would buy a new house, car, and go on a 2 month vacation; you on the other hand, while agreeing with the vacation, would want to break down the money to ensure that you put away some of it for not only your future as a couple but your future as a growing family.
Though highly unlikely, our fun little scenario has provided an insight into a question that will probably always be present within your relationship- how do you both spend money?
Sure, when we’re talking about a million dollars, a few hundred dollars here and there means very little. But when we’re talking about thousands of dollars, a few hundred dollars can make all of the difference between a family just getting by and a family living comfortably. Which do you want to be?