In our world, there are big politicians. They are elected through a voting process that is ultimately decided by the majority’s favorite candidate. Of course, one sees the problem in this: if the majority has a small brain, it is likely that the politician will, too. Thus, we are presented with a series of strict, bizarre, or useless laws that are meant to protect our well-being and make our country a better place. However, most of these mandates go only so far as to be posted on websites, rarely being enforced. Here are just a few, coming from the home of both moose kebabs and Sarah Palin:
1. In Anchorage, no one may tie their pet dog to the roof of their car.
If they want to take their pet somewhere, it must be in an enclosed space, with side and tail walls reaching a minimum height of 46 inches. This decreases the risk of the pet being thrown, jumping, or falling from the vehicle.
2. A person may only carry a concealed slingshot if they have the appropriate license, in Haines.
This is because it is considered a concealed weapon.
3. No one may live in a trailer as it is being hauled down the streets of Anchorage.
The text of this law is pretty straight-forward: no person may occupy a house trailer as it is being moved down a public street.
4. One may not serve alcoholic beverages while drunk, in Haines (again).
Also, one cannot sell alcohol to an already-drunken person, according to this law.
5. The liger-owners of Juneau cannot bring them to the barber.
Not for fear of Sweeney Todd, but because it violates the city’s “responsibility of animal owner” code. They may also not take them to restaurants, for it is a place where food for human consumption is sold.
6. Also in Juneau, buildings that preserve scenic vistas are awarded “bonus points” by the government.
7. Hawkeye and Legolas may not roam around Nome
It is illegal to roam the area with a bow and arrows, as well as any other type of airgun (BB guns, pellet guns, or anything that releases a projectile upon the release of a compressed gas). There is an exception, though, if one is carrying the device, unloaded, in a direct route from a home to an “authorized location.”
8. In Soldotna, “attractive nuisances” may not exist.
What is an “attractive nuisance?” It is any object that may attract a bear. Although that sounds like a good idea (one does not desire a bear attack), look at all of the things that attract bears.