Child support, who pays and what amount, has been a source of contention for decades. One’s position or view on the issue generally depends on our stake in it. Those who are paying and those who are receiving child support most often hold opposing views. Add new spouses or significant others to the mix and it can be a nightmare.
At one point, in our ever evolving culture, the accepted ethical or moral standard was that if two people brought children into this world, both were responsible to provide for all their basic needs. Most of us would like to believe that the larger segment of society continues to adhere to this ethical standard. Sadly, this is not the case.
Ethical or moral values have changed significantly for various reasons over the years. We have become more individualistic, the idea that anything is acceptable as opposed to society setting standards for the mass to adopt as their own. The result is we are now very self-centered and selfish. We do only what is good for us without regard for anyone else and we no longer consider doing what is right.
In the past, most parents were married and if they decided to dissolve the marriage, the amount of child support usually was set up and agreed upon within a Divorce Decree, with little or no intervention of the court. The Decree was filed as a public record and both parties were expected to honor all the components set forth within the document. The courts did not take any action at that time to enforce either party to fulfill their obligations.
Over time, it became evident that multitudes of fathers were not paying their child support, in particular, leaving the custodial spouse financially stressed. The recourse was to hire a lawyer at great financial cost, locate the father, and bring him to court, in an effort to force him to pay his legal obligation. The cost was actually prohibitive because the custodial parent was already financially overburdened and in lieu of court action, would seek financial relief within the framework of the Welfare system to supplement their income, if indeed, they had any.
As our ethics have changed, so has our willingness to pay child support. Non-payment had escalated to such a degree that our legislators believed it to be necessary to establish standard child support amounts and stipulating the ways and means fathers could be penalized for violating the law. In some cases, fathers have been jailed for their refusal to make their payments. Too many tax dollars have been expended to care for children entitled to child support from a father who simply refused to pay. Theses fathers have been dubbed with the name, dead beat dads.
This age of ‘do it our self’, permits us to file for a divorce without a lawyer, eliminating a huge expense and the amount of child support is determined by earnings. Today, many parents never married, but they too can seek financial relief in the form of child support through their local court. Many States, if not all, have determined what is to be the norm for the amount of child support based on the father’s income.
The custodial spouse may also request payment or provision to be made for additional expenses, such as health insurance, splitting any medical related co-pays, a college fund to be set up, clothing allowances and many other similar expenses for the good of the child. The requests, in and of themselves, do not guarantee that they will be granted by the court, however, if granted, are generally based on one’s ability to pay.
To be fair, there are a lot of great dads who willingly pay their child support, buy extras because they want to and continue to be an integral part of their children’s lives. However, there are just as many, if not more, who see no reason to pay child support, refuse to pay, and seemingly don’t care about the children they have fathered. Although, this stance still does seem reprehensible in the minds of more than a few.
Some believe the amount of child support levied against a father, as well as any additional expenditures, are exorbitant and unjust. The claim is they limit the father’s ability to sustain their own lifestyle and care for a new family. Others would claim the child support is not used wisely. Some would also consider court ordered payments and enforcement of such, to be unethical. Presuming the court established the payments under the purview of the law, then the law would need to be changed.
There are those who also believe there should be exceptions and that under certain conditions, a father should no longer have to pay child support or at the very least, payment should be suspended until conditions improve. These qualifying conditions for non-payment of child support, generally include, unemployment, disability, and imprisonment. We have to think about child support as the same as any other financial obligation we have. It is a bill. If we think about it, we will have to acknowledge that rent, utilities, credit card payments, car loans and a host of other expenses, are due and owing whether we are unemployed or disabled. Those who are imprisoned, of course have none of these expenses.
Unless we are already paying the least amount of child support prescribed by law, we always have recourse to the court to alter our child support payments when our income is significantly reduced. It is a matter of filing a petition to the court to seek relief and providing documentary evidence that would support such a determination.
Those who have been imprisoned and released, certainly face a heavy load to make up the missed payments. Yet, the court does not expect the amount due to be paid in full upon release. Instead, a minimal additional amount will be assessed to begin paying down the over due balance and added to the regular child support payment. This is not the best of circumstances for them.
Currently the law and the courts are upholding the ethical standard that a father should pay child support and will take the necessary steps to force a father to do so, once brought to their attention. In the legal realm, it is never considered unethical for a father to be forced to pay child support, despite what the individual parties believe. With the passage of more time and the election of new, younger lawmakers, maybe all the rules of law regarding child support and enforcement will be once again altered.